Ever since I was a kid, I have never felt like I fit in with any particular group of people. Growing up I had a few friends and all, and as I got older, I had fewer and fewer to the point where I don't really have any. Facebook tells me I have 101, but with the exception of a very select few, they are mostly just acquaintances. Only a handful of those do I interact with online on a regular basis. I never go out with any friends... Some of that is just me as I don't drink, I don't like being out at night, and I'm just plain cheap; but the other part is that I don't know anyone to go out with as just a friend.
I am really struggling to fit in at work. I'm not looking to make lasting friendships at work, I just want to go, do my job, and leave. In the past I have gotten caught up in the drama and I do not ever want to do that again. However, it would be nice to feel like I belong, that I am at least liked. At my school bus job, I am not even really an employee, I am a temp. I am not one of the drivers; I want to be, so badly, but I am not. I get asked to leave the driver's meeting as I don't actually count and "outsiders" aren't allowed. That hurt. I am right there driving the bus many days out of the week, but yet I am not included as a driver so I don't get to know about what is going on. Damn unions.
I have never fit in at my city bus job, I felt like that ever since I started there. I am not sure why. I mean people are generally nice to me and all, but still. I only ever really got along with the night mechanic.
I am not sure what is wrong with me that makes me so unlikeable to the general population of places I work. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I really wonder what I could do to improve my social interactions. I am not sure how I come off to other people, but obviously unless you only know me for a few minutes, it's not a very positive way. :-\
