I'm talking physical pain here, not mental anguish or anything like that. Seriously, up until a couple weeks ago, I thought that it was completely normal to wake up in the morning stiff and sore and with at least one body part hurting. I can't blame my mattress, I have one of those fancy memory foam ones that is supposed to take away pain, not cause it. It's not a cheap one either.
For as long as I can remember, I have physically hurt in some way or another. I wake up with a lot of muscle soreness and often a feeling of weakness, like when you overdo it or do something that uses new muscles, yet I don't do anything different usually to cause it. Getting out of bed I am like a Rice Krispie, snap, crackle, pop!
I always thought pain was just a part of life, that everybody hurts on a daily basis. That everybody hurts when they have to stand for more than a few minutes, regardless of their shoe style. That everyone hurts sitting at a desk. But I guess I was tragically mistaken.
I recently found out that it is not normal for everyone to hurt all the time, or while doing daily activities of life. Really? I would love to know what that feels like, to not be in pain. Right now as I type this, there is a pulling pain in my neck, my hips are sore from sitting (I've been on the reclining sofa for about 1/2 hour), my eyes are itchy, and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open...this is completely normal for me. Everyday is like this. No matter what I do. God forbid I do something different like go to an event with a lot of walking, demo ride a motorcycle, or go horseback riding or anything like that I may enjoy, by bedtime I am so incredibly stiff I can't move a muscle without pain! The next morning, forget about it, I am in near agony. I still try and do things I enjoy even though I will pay for it later as I don't want to miss out on too much of life.
Over the years, I tried to ignore it, putting it off as normal aches and pains of living. Once in a while something would be unusually sore, but there was often a reasonable explanation, like doing a new activity that may use different muscles. But recently, things have been unusually sore without a reasonable explanation. I just wake up hurting. There is a legitimate cause for the neck/shoulder/upper back pain due to a bulging disc in my cervical spine. However, the rest remains a mystery. There is no reason for me to be sore and hurting daily. I'm only 30 for goodness sake!
I haven't even mentioned the sudden, random, stabbing pain that comes out of no where and can strike any part of my body. It is a sharp burning radiating sort of pain that lasts anywhere from seconds to minutes. Then it goes away just as quickly as it came.
I guess my epiphany came when I asked my boyfriend, who is several (well, a few more than several) years older than me about how he feels on a daily basis. He is a very hard working diesel mechanic who is always on his feet on a concrete floor, and he does not have any pain from it. If I visit him and stand on that floor for a few minutes, the pain and pressure in my feet and legs is extremely uncomfortable, I always find a place to sit down. I can wear sneakers, work boots, Toms, doesn't matter, same results.
I just wish I could know what it feels like to wake up refreshed, pain free, and ready to start the day.
