Well, it's that time of the year again. The last day of the year. The time when you make some long blog entry about how the year treated you. Well, guess what, here's that post.
2011 was a year of many changes in my life. Started the year off in a weird sort of relationship that I shouldn't have been in, but when I was with him, I really enjoyed it. However, due to an external issue, things just couldn't work out for us to be together. I don't regret it at all as it showed me what real love was like, and that I could actually have all the happy feelings you are supposed to have.
However, that left me able to get back together with a friend of mine who was no longer long distance. We had dated a little big the previous year, but I had broken up with him due primarily to the distance as he lived in NC and I lived in NH. When he moved back, we started hanging out once in a while as just friends, and things progressed from there.
We moved in together in August. Remind me in the future that moving sucks, and no matter how much you try to declutter and bring only the minimum, there is still too much stuff! LOL. But him, me, and my cat are coexisting under one roof. I know my cat is LOVING being the only pet.
October 29th he popped the question, giving me the most beautiful ring a girl could ask for. Course, we had picked it out together, but still, it is absolutely perfect.
During the first few months, I had an hour commute each way to drive a school bus. The pay and the benefits were worth attempting to make it work. Unfortunately, it took a toll on me, plus my cat hated me being gone from 5:15sm until 6:15pm everyday. It was just too much, and I had to say goodbye to the job I really enjoyed and managed to make a living off of. I am now working at another bus yard much closer to home and it is making life much nicer as I can be home during the mid day between shifts. I am in the process of acquiring a second job at a city bus company.
I bought a new car recently as I wanted a stick shift, and I love it. I miss my other car too, as it was awesome.
Unfortuantely the last few months I haven't been doing well. I have been very depressed and withdrawn, not the smiling happy person I was when I first got engaged and before. It is tough, because it has absolutely nothing to do with my fiancé or anyone. It just is. It is definitely taking it's toll on everything around me which really sucks as I was working hard to improve this chapter in my life. It also makes it very hard to write a nice optimistic blog entry.
All I do know is that I have a wonderful fiancé who deserves so much better, a beautiful place to live, a wonderful cat, two fun cars...basically everything I ever wanted. Now, if I just could find that happiness that is hiding somewhere inside me, life could be great!
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