Invisible and broken

Somedays I feel invisible. It's like I don't even exist. I don't fit in anywhere. In conversations, I will say something and it is overlooked, someone else will say the EXACT SAME THING I just said, and it will get a reaction, whether a laugh or a continuation of the thought. I have noticed this a lot recently. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, or what is wrong with me that makes me just not exist. My opinion is never valued. It sucks and is very frustrating. There are times it would be nice to be included in the group conversation with everyone else at the table, not just ignored. A not so lovely example of my not-so-amazing invisibility powers is I stopped in at my other job to sign up for work. There was a dispatcher, a supervisor, and two drivers I walked past. Out of all those people, only ONE driver said hi. Shows what a friendly company I work for, but I feel like that so much of the time.

As well as invisible, I feel broken. I am so completely exhausted/sleepy/tired 99% of the time. I am only 29, that's not old by anyone but a kindergardener's standard, but I feel like I'm elderly. My parents are older than most parents of a kid my age, but they are super active. They unload a ton of wood pellets, take care of a horse everyday, can lift a hell of a lot more than I can, they can walk around all day and not be dead. I can't keep up with my mom, not even close. Most days I feel like crap. My boyfriend has been very encouraging in getting me to do more and hoping that as I do more I will feel better, but no change. I am trying so hard to be a more active person, but I just feel like I fail. Every day when I come home and it's "early" I feel guilty. I am wasting the day. Life is short, you never know what will happen, but yet all I feel like I can do is come home and sit on the couch and watch TV. I am too set in my ways that lunch is at noon, dinner is at 6-7pm, then after dinner is TV and then bed time....God forbid anything changes those times. It sucks. If he wants to go out on the motorcycle after work or just do basically anything but sit on the couch all afternoon/evening, why can't we? Once in a while, or on bad weather afternoons is one thing, but I am technically young, I should be out living life with him. I hate that I hold him back because he is so sweet and tries to make me happy so he'll stay in, but all I do is spend that time I know he wants to be doing something else being upset that I once again failed. It's not fair and I have no idea how to change it!?

I should be the happiest girl in the world right now, I have a perfect boyfriend who really does make me happy when I'm not feeling guilty that we are spending all our quality time doing nothing every day.  I am getting the job I have been wanting. I live in a perfect little house.

I just don't know what to do and how to fix me.