The past, by definition has gone by and no longer exists. Everyone has millions of memories of the past, good and bad, happy and sad. It's part of life. We also have memories that we attempt to forget, memories we try to lock into a vault and intend for them to stay there. Normally those are bad memories, but in my case, I have some very very happy memories that I had thought I had locked in that vault.
You probably wonder why I have happy memories that I don't want to remember, well, that is complicated and not something I want to share with the interwebz and everyone on it. Just take my word that those memories needed to go away so that I could move on with my life. I thought I had done well locking them away. Every once in a while a memory would pop up, but quickly got put back where they belong, out of my head. I would move on and be just fine.
Well lately, it seems there was a massive failure of that vault and the ninjas were able to completely broke down it's defenses. My brain has been flooded with the memories I try so hard to forget. When I am idle, my mind has been racing, thinking about those memories. Trying to sleep is a challenge for the first time in a very very long time. I am constantly reminding myself there was a reason I got out of that situation, that I have everything I ever could want now.
It's so hard, especially now I travel all over the state, often past places that have one of those memories attached to them. It hurts. I am hoping that construction of that vault will be completed soon, because this is taking its toll on me. I don't want to be depressed. I want to make new happy memories, not stay trapped in the past.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
More craftiness
Wreaths are defiantly my new addiction. I love they brighten up our boring green door. Now, if only we had a light at the front door do it wasn't so dark!
This is my latest creation:
It is made from a wooden vine wreath form I got at Michaels (half price due to a signing error!), and 3 clusters of artificial cherry blossoms in pink and white.
The wreath was very simple to make, I cut the flower clusters off of the main stem, and weaved them in between the vines on the wreath to hold them. This is meant for an indoor decoration, otherwise I would have hot glued the flowers. As my wreath was slightly misshapen, I thought the 2/3 decorated, 1/3 plain looked the best.
Another year older
I turned 27 on Saturday. I have yet to figure out what the big deal is about getting older. So many people panic because they are getting closer to 30....big f-ing deal I say. It's just a number. There are days that I feel 5 and days I feel 95. For the most part, life is right on "schedule" if there is such a thing. I am engaged and planning our wedding. I have a car payment, a cell phone, student loans, and plenty of debt. Seems like what I would expect for my age. I guess I am lucky like that. I don't want kids, so that isn't constantly looming in the back of my mind.
I had a great birthday. My fiancé did an awesome job picking my presents...he got me a Fiat 500 T shirt I wanted, and key covers. I was thrilled. He has it fairly easy, most girls would not be so excited over car crap as a gift. Hey, I bought myself rims and tires for my Metro Convertible as a present to myself and using the money I get from my parents and grandma. Speaking of the Vert, it is currently being prepped for the upcoming spring/summer/fall! Can't wait for it to come home!
The rest of my birthday was good as well. I had a riding lesson and got to canter for the first time in ages. My fiancé was able to come with me and see my progress, so that was really nice.
After lunch at McDonald's (needed small and simple as dinner would be epic), I decided I wanted to look at scooters. I have a motorcycle, but I just have lost interest in it. A scooter is a heck of a lot easier, and I would be getting one that is new or close to new. Ideally, I will get a Vespa 125 or 300, but financially that may not be feasible. I was looking at the Yamaha Zuma 125, a really nice scooter with a great brand name, but not really the Italian styling I was after. Oh well, I gotta stop spending money and pay off more debts before I can get anything like that!
We had another amazing dinner at Carraba's; my favorite restaurant. I love the PicPac pasta. The sauce is just amazing. So simple, tomatoes, garlic, and basil, but damn, it is heaven. The fresh pasta just adds to the epic deliciousness. Of course, the fiancé had to say it was my birthday, so they sang to me, but I did get free cake! The things we tolerate for free food....
I had a great birthday. My fiancé did an awesome job picking my presents...he got me a Fiat 500 T shirt I wanted, and key covers. I was thrilled. He has it fairly easy, most girls would not be so excited over car crap as a gift. Hey, I bought myself rims and tires for my Metro Convertible as a present to myself and using the money I get from my parents and grandma. Speaking of the Vert, it is currently being prepped for the upcoming spring/summer/fall! Can't wait for it to come home!
The rest of my birthday was good as well. I had a riding lesson and got to canter for the first time in ages. My fiancé was able to come with me and see my progress, so that was really nice.
After lunch at McDonald's (needed small and simple as dinner would be epic), I decided I wanted to look at scooters. I have a motorcycle, but I just have lost interest in it. A scooter is a heck of a lot easier, and I would be getting one that is new or close to new. Ideally, I will get a Vespa 125 or 300, but financially that may not be feasible. I was looking at the Yamaha Zuma 125, a really nice scooter with a great brand name, but not really the Italian styling I was after. Oh well, I gotta stop spending money and pay off more debts before I can get anything like that!
We had another amazing dinner at Carraba's; my favorite restaurant. I love the PicPac pasta. The sauce is just amazing. So simple, tomatoes, garlic, and basil, but damn, it is heaven. The fresh pasta just adds to the epic deliciousness. Of course, the fiancé had to say it was my birthday, so they sang to me, but I did get free cake! The things we tolerate for free food....
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Gotta love Pinterest....my addiciton
Hi, my name is Amber, and I am a Pinterest addict. I pin when I wake up (if I am not racing off to work), I pin when I get home from work, I pin before dinner, I pin before bed....I'm surprised I don't pin in my sleep.
One of my favorite things to do on Pinterest is find new crafts and DIY projects. Recently I completed a few of these projects myself.
Wreaths are my latest craft endeavor, I love dressing up the very boring apartment door with a splash of color. Many of them are very simple to make.
My first wreath was the Valentines one. It was crafted from a foam heart form and 10 sheets of felt in 3 colors. I cut the felt into 3"ish circles, folded them twice, and then pinned them to the form.
I then crafted a St Patricks day wreath using the same method, but added in some dollar store artificial carnations.
My most recent wreath endeavor was a lot simpler than these two, but has a cute effect. It is perfect for Easter/Spring. I used the same foam wreath form and wrapped Fun Fur yarn around running a bead of Elmer's glue around the back to secure it. It took a little over 1 skein. When that was completed I used pins with a rounded head and attached artificial flowers.
My last recent project was for the apartment. We are sick of the dining room table being a collect all. I saw a pin about Wall Pockets based on a Pottery Barn design. I used the pattern from the original pin (look in my Craft Ideas board, which is also where you would find all the original pins that link to the original tutorials for all the projects on this page!)
This didn't come out exactly like I wanted, the top folder is crooked on the top, and the gap between the two folders is larger than I would have wanted, but this was my first time ever using cardboard as a building medium. Even with the defects, I am happy with the end result. It is functional.
So thanks to Pinterest, my wallet is lighter and our apartment is much more colorful!
One of my favorite things to do on Pinterest is find new crafts and DIY projects. Recently I completed a few of these projects myself.
Wreaths are my latest craft endeavor, I love dressing up the very boring apartment door with a splash of color. Many of them are very simple to make.
My first wreath was the Valentines one. It was crafted from a foam heart form and 10 sheets of felt in 3 colors. I cut the felt into 3"ish circles, folded them twice, and then pinned them to the form.
I then crafted a St Patricks day wreath using the same method, but added in some dollar store artificial carnations.
My most recent wreath endeavor was a lot simpler than these two, but has a cute effect. It is perfect for Easter/Spring. I used the same foam wreath form and wrapped Fun Fur yarn around running a bead of Elmer's glue around the back to secure it. It took a little over 1 skein. When that was completed I used pins with a rounded head and attached artificial flowers.
My last recent project was for the apartment. We are sick of the dining room table being a collect all. I saw a pin about Wall Pockets based on a Pottery Barn design. I used the pattern from the original pin (look in my Craft Ideas board, which is also where you would find all the original pins that link to the original tutorials for all the projects on this page!)
This didn't come out exactly like I wanted, the top folder is crooked on the top, and the gap between the two folders is larger than I would have wanted, but this was my first time ever using cardboard as a building medium. Even with the defects, I am happy with the end result. It is functional.
So thanks to Pinterest, my wallet is lighter and our apartment is much more colorful!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
My First Tutorial: Fleece No Sew Cat bed
My cats are spoiled. They have more toys than any 2 cats should have. It's pathetic, but, they are my babies, so they get lots of goodies!
I don't remember where I got the idea, most likely Pinterest but who knows.
Anyways....the tutorial
First: Get yourself some soft foam. This almost feels like memory foam. It was <$8 at Walmart and you get two squares.
Second: Cut the foam to desired size. I wanted to use mine in our huge window sills, so I cut the foam in half, you could easily use the full size.
Third: Cut your fabric, you need two "sheets", one for the top and one for the bottom. It is common to use a solid and a pattern, but have fun with it! I didn't bother to measure, but you want to have a sufficient border to make your fringe, and make up for the thickness of the foam. I think mine was about 4" on all sides. To cut, I used pinking shears because I liked the zig zag look on the end of the fringe!
Fourth: Cut a fringe through both layers. I used a special fringe rotary cutter I was very happy to purchase on clearance at JoAnn fabrics. It cut 4 at a time, 1/2" apart. You can use standard scissors, or there is a myriad of tools to help you, just search Amazon.
Fifth: Tie the two layers together. I used 2 knots for each tie. Do the 2 long sides and one of the short ones, leaving the opening to stuff the foam into. I did not separate the layers because it was easier to match up the cuts to tie.
Sidenote: One of the kitties helping keep the fabric in line.
Sixth: To make the bed more attractive to the kitties, I used a catnip spray that I had on hand and soaked the foam. You can buy it at any pet store, or just sprinkle dried catnip inside. Insert the foam into the fleece pocket you made, and finish the knotting.
Seventh: Place your bed where you want your kitties. This was a pretty quick project. I didn't time it, but it was probably an hour? It was very easy.
I decided to place some no-slip shelf liner (gotta love the dollar store) on the window sill to prevent the bed from sliding when kitty jumps on it.
All done. A nice cozy bed for the kitties to watch the snow.
I don't remember where I got the idea, most likely Pinterest but who knows.
Anyways....the tutorial
First: Get yourself some soft foam. This almost feels like memory foam. It was <$8 at Walmart and you get two squares.
Second: Cut the foam to desired size. I wanted to use mine in our huge window sills, so I cut the foam in half, you could easily use the full size.
Third: Cut your fabric, you need two "sheets", one for the top and one for the bottom. It is common to use a solid and a pattern, but have fun with it! I didn't bother to measure, but you want to have a sufficient border to make your fringe, and make up for the thickness of the foam. I think mine was about 4" on all sides. To cut, I used pinking shears because I liked the zig zag look on the end of the fringe!
Fourth: Cut a fringe through both layers. I used a special fringe rotary cutter I was very happy to purchase on clearance at JoAnn fabrics. It cut 4 at a time, 1/2" apart. You can use standard scissors, or there is a myriad of tools to help you, just search Amazon.
Fifth: Tie the two layers together. I used 2 knots for each tie. Do the 2 long sides and one of the short ones, leaving the opening to stuff the foam into. I did not separate the layers because it was easier to match up the cuts to tie.
Sidenote: One of the kitties helping keep the fabric in line.
Sixth: To make the bed more attractive to the kitties, I used a catnip spray that I had on hand and soaked the foam. You can buy it at any pet store, or just sprinkle dried catnip inside. Insert the foam into the fleece pocket you made, and finish the knotting.
Seventh: Place your bed where you want your kitties. This was a pretty quick project. I didn't time it, but it was probably an hour? It was very easy.
I decided to place some no-slip shelf liner (gotta love the dollar store) on the window sill to prevent the bed from sliding when kitty jumps on it.
All done. A nice cozy bed for the kitties to watch the snow.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Driving in circles...
It's been a while, not that I think I have anyone who actually follows this blog, but anyways, if you do, thanks, if you don't, what's wrong with you? Haha, just kidding! Mostly....
I have been busy training to be an intercity bus driver for a local company. So far it is very enjoyable. I have done a couple runs solo, and that is way less stress than I thought. Hopefully I will be released from the training program soon and be on my own to terrorize, I mean drive, the local streets. Ok, actually the only reason I care to be released from training is to get my uniform so I can stop wearing my regular clothes and, more importantly, to get the silly briefcase that will let me create a "bus kit"
In more interesting, non-bus related news, we have a new addition to our "family", a 14 year old kitty cat named Kalikat. She was living with my parents, but was starting to go downhill due to her hatred of dogs and the other cats. She refused to eat with the other cats, and wasn't a fan of going downstairs to the litterbox. That doesn't really work so well, so she lost a ton of weight and was making a mess. I offered to take her so she could get away from her stressors. She's been here almost 2 weeks; what a difference, She's started putting on weight. The litter box is still questionable, but part of that had to do with her having some nasty diarrhea. Poor baby. She is actually making an attempt now. I am hoping her bowel condition improves, because I am sick of cleaning up after her. I know the fiancé has fallen for her. It is too cute to watch them together. She thinks he is the ultimate pillow, and that he should spend all day petting her while she sleeps on him.
The wedding planning has been going well. The guest list is finalized, and the venue is booked! Very exciting. Speaking of that silly thing called love, he gave me the most thoughtful Valentine's gift ever. He picked out the cutest little photo album, one that I would have picked myself, and filled it with pics of us and places that have meaning to us! It was the sweetest, most romantic gift I have ever received. So perfect. It just added to the reasons why I love him!
As for the rest of my life, I have found that I love the Instagram app for my iPhone (add me, I'm squishy car). I am also a hopeless Pinterest addict. Pinterest has taken over my life lol. I spend more time on there than on any other website, hence the reason my blog has been neglected for so long...so join up and follow me!
I have been busy training to be an intercity bus driver for a local company. So far it is very enjoyable. I have done a couple runs solo, and that is way less stress than I thought. Hopefully I will be released from the training program soon and be on my own to terrorize, I mean drive, the local streets. Ok, actually the only reason I care to be released from training is to get my uniform so I can stop wearing my regular clothes and, more importantly, to get the silly briefcase that will let me create a "bus kit"
In more interesting, non-bus related news, we have a new addition to our "family", a 14 year old kitty cat named Kalikat. She was living with my parents, but was starting to go downhill due to her hatred of dogs and the other cats. She refused to eat with the other cats, and wasn't a fan of going downstairs to the litterbox. That doesn't really work so well, so she lost a ton of weight and was making a mess. I offered to take her so she could get away from her stressors. She's been here almost 2 weeks; what a difference, She's started putting on weight. The litter box is still questionable, but part of that had to do with her having some nasty diarrhea. Poor baby. She is actually making an attempt now. I am hoping her bowel condition improves, because I am sick of cleaning up after her. I know the fiancé has fallen for her. It is too cute to watch them together. She thinks he is the ultimate pillow, and that he should spend all day petting her while she sleeps on him.
The wedding planning has been going well. The guest list is finalized, and the venue is booked! Very exciting. Speaking of that silly thing called love, he gave me the most thoughtful Valentine's gift ever. He picked out the cutest little photo album, one that I would have picked myself, and filled it with pics of us and places that have meaning to us! It was the sweetest, most romantic gift I have ever received. So perfect. It just added to the reasons why I love him!
As for the rest of my life, I have found that I love the Instagram app for my iPhone (add me, I'm squishy car). I am also a hopeless Pinterest addict. Pinterest has taken over my life lol. I spend more time on there than on any other website, hence the reason my blog has been neglected for so long...so join up and follow me!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Resolutions
As it is the start of a new year, it is the time to start actually making this chapter of my life better than I have been.
I need to take better care of myself, take more pride in how I look on a daily basis, even if I am not going out anywhere. Doing simple things like using a nice smelling lotion, painting my nails, getting my hair cut more regularly should help. I especially need to lose some weight so I am not so self conscious of my middle. However, my complete refusal to do gym exercise kinda hurts that plan, but I want to lose weight by making smarter choices in what I eat. As I have issues with my blood sugar dropping, I need to find healthy foods that will help hold me until the next snack. Snacks need to be sensible choices, high in nutrition. I know my new schedule where I can come home midday will help as when I am home I tend not to eat as much. One place I will start is ordering skim milk in my coffee, I have switched to 2% at home.
Another area I need to improve is my finances. My new job (possibly jobs) still leave me short on what I was making before. There is an online advisor free through one of my banks that I will fill out and have to use. I need to be able to build savings as well as I am now without health insurance. My credit cards need to be gone, yet again. I really just can't have a credit card because I will get into a funk where I think spending money will make me feel better, when it is just a temporary fix. I will be couponing even harder to make up the difference, so I am still a contributing member of the household, and keeping a good log of my savings.
I need to appreciate all I have a lot more than I do. I am always depressed and I have no reason to be. I have everything I could want. I need to remember that.
Here's to 2012 being a success and me getting back on track.
I need to take better care of myself, take more pride in how I look on a daily basis, even if I am not going out anywhere. Doing simple things like using a nice smelling lotion, painting my nails, getting my hair cut more regularly should help. I especially need to lose some weight so I am not so self conscious of my middle. However, my complete refusal to do gym exercise kinda hurts that plan, but I want to lose weight by making smarter choices in what I eat. As I have issues with my blood sugar dropping, I need to find healthy foods that will help hold me until the next snack. Snacks need to be sensible choices, high in nutrition. I know my new schedule where I can come home midday will help as when I am home I tend not to eat as much. One place I will start is ordering skim milk in my coffee, I have switched to 2% at home.
Another area I need to improve is my finances. My new job (possibly jobs) still leave me short on what I was making before. There is an online advisor free through one of my banks that I will fill out and have to use. I need to be able to build savings as well as I am now without health insurance. My credit cards need to be gone, yet again. I really just can't have a credit card because I will get into a funk where I think spending money will make me feel better, when it is just a temporary fix. I will be couponing even harder to make up the difference, so I am still a contributing member of the household, and keeping a good log of my savings.
I need to appreciate all I have a lot more than I do. I am always depressed and I have no reason to be. I have everything I could want. I need to remember that.
Here's to 2012 being a success and me getting back on track.
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