Getting out of bed...

If you do not have to go to work, or have an appointment, or really anything to do, what gets you out of bed at a decent time?

For me, I can't seem to find any reason to get out of the bed unless I have work or an appointment. I will go to sleep at 10pm and wake up between 8am and 10am. Maybe I'll change out of my PJs into comfy clothes, but I am still in bed. I give the cat their meds (yes, for the next week both kitties are on meds...one oral syringe, the other ointment in the ear) but then back laying down on the bed. I watch TV.  I make a simple lunch which I then proceed to eat, you guessed it, in bed, laying down. I then lay in bed and watch TV until its time to go to work. I don;t even bother to get one of the dozen DVDs I have yet to watch, I just watch whatever show is on reruns that I feel like watching. Mindless stupid TV. I procrastinate any chores until the last minute and they only get done if assigned on the "chore board" I had him set up for me.

 I go to work. I feel ok, I enjoy my job. I'm lazy and don't walk any further than I have to most days, I have often called the office from the bus in the yard rather than walk back to the office (it's really not that far). I drive my bus, rarely do I get out of the seat unless forced to by a needy passenger or to assist a wheelchair passenger. Doesn't matter if the shift is 2 hours or 8 hours...I don't move unless I have to.

I am thinking, well I know, this is definately not a healthy way to live. Luckily, I don't just lay here and eat a bunch of food all day, I stick with lunch and dinner and maybe a snack for breakfast. But I don't move.

But how do I get out of bed? I have no where to go. Nothing appeals to me other than laying here. I am most comfortable laying down. I actually struggle to eat at home sitting on the table. My husband eats like a human at the desk, and I eat like I don;t even know, laying down in bed. It's pathetic. People my age should want to get out and do things. My new schedule has made this issue even worse as I usually don't go to work until after 3pm and am home again by 7pm. I don't feel like i have time to do anything before work, when I actually have hours, especially if I got my lazy ass out of bed.

I have been diagnosed with depression, and I am on a new medication which has made my relationship better and me more level with my mood. However it has not gotten my lazy ass motivated to get out of bed.

I dunno what to do. It's a pathetic, unhealthy existence.

Palmolive Fresh Infusions Review: It's so sudsy!!

If you didn't already know, I am a member of Influenster, which means I am randomly selected to try new products. In order to continue receiving products, I have simple tasks to complete, like take a photo on Instagram, post to Facebook, write a blog entry....so here I am.

My latest product is Palmolive Fresh Infusions dish washing detergent. I was pleasantly surprised by the fact I got 3 full size bottles to try!

Of course, the first thing I did was smell each of the varieties. My favorite was the Lime Basil and Lemon Thyme.  The Ginger White Tea is my hubby's favorite. He is the one who does the dishes, so his liked are important. He says that they suds up very nicely, more than most detergents. The grease cutting power is average. I know when I used it yesterday to soak a pan, it foamed up nice, but the best part was that it had a nice smell to it. It wasn't overpowering, but it covered up the smell of the junk in the pan, which is very important to me as I now have a very sensitive stomach/gag reflex.

The one thing I noticed is the labels don't match. Consistency is important, but these are a new product, so maybe they are testing out different designs. I prefer the label on the lemon and green tea ones. Its more balanced than the one on the Lime one. I do like the overall label design with it being clear with the pictures on it. The bottles are nice too, they are attractive to have displayed by the sink.

I'd definitely purchase this product again, and recommend it to my friends to try.

Obligatory New Year Post

As is written all over everyone's Facebook page, Happy New Year! With that being said, now is the time for the expected year end review and preview of upcoming events.

2012. It should have been the best year ever. I got a dream car in Dec 2011. I had a wedding coming up in October 2012. I started the year with 2 jobs I enjoyed most of the time. Yup, definitely should have been an amazing year. Sadly, it didn't turn out that way due to my awesome brain chemistry being off. I spent a good portion of the year being miserable and sad and moody.

I lost my job driving school bus and was not told the reason behind it, although I have my suspicions that Facebook played a part in it which is beyond wrong as I was always an excellent employee and did my job better than a lot of the other drivers there. What happens outside of work should not play any part in my job, especially as it was never ever shown to affect my job. Of course, it didn't help my bosses boss didn't like me because I wouldn't work in Maine. Anyways, it really sucks because I do love driving school buses. It did teach me that I should have stuck to my original plan of no coworkers on Facebook.

My dream car has turned out ok, except the windshield cracked after a storm due to weird temperature changes. And now it has some serious issues with moisture on the interior, which I am not sure if it is related to the windshield or a more significant problem. I am now completely paranoid my windshield channel is rotting away as I speak. However, I cannot replace the windshield until inspection because I have extremely bad luck with windshields and if I fix it now, it will be cracked again before inspection and I definitely do not have the money to replace it twice (and no, I  do not get free windshields through my insurance, so stop asking! I went through 2 or 3 on my Liberty). Other than this issue, my Fiat is a blast to drive. I will love it again once these problems are fixed.

The wedding. That should have been the happiest time of my life. Most every girl dreams of their wedding day. Once again, due to my awesomely horrible brain chemistry and hormone levels, it was not nearly as romantic and awesome as it should have been if I had been not suffering from severe depression. Don't get me wrong, I have an awesome husband and I do not regret marrying him or anything at all like that, I just wish I had been a hell of a lot happier, romantic, and nicer to be around.

I finally got the guinea pig I have been wanting for years since my first one died. At first it was great. She is really the sweetest piggy you could ask for. But lately the smell has been getting to me. With my change in medication I have been very nauseous and sensitive to smell. Ben says that she doesn't smell, but I can't stand it. Makes me soooo nauseous, even right after cleaning her cage with all fresh clean supplies. Now I don't know what to do. I can't deal with the smell.

I find a new fun thing to do, ride my Vespa. Of course, I found out it has some damage to the shaft connecting the engine to the transmission, and it fell over a few weeks after I bought it and scratched the paint. It is spending the winter at the body shop then the place I bought it. In the end, hopefully it will be like new and treat me well this upcoming season.

Yeah, so 2012 was not so good. All the good stuff was overshadowed by the bad stuff.

2013. Not starting out so well. The new schedule at work is really leaving me short on hours. I do ok with 20 hours a week, but right now, I have 8, and there are very limited available routes that I can cover because if it starts too early I fall asleep behind the wheel, and due to his hours, I can't be working late either.

I am struggling with a switch in my medication. The withdrawal and side effects are kicking my ass right now. I am hoping it will be all worth it and I can get back to being happy.

Hopefully things will get better and i can actually have positive entries.

If I Won Half a Billion Dollars....

First off, I don't entirely know how to even write that number....$500,000,000 I think. That is a lot of zeros. These days, one million dollars wouldn't go very far. You could get a decent house and maybe pay off your debts, but thats about it. I am not sure if you could even bank the entire payout and live off the interest. Life is just too expensive these days.

The first thing I would do is pay of my and my hubby's debt (which in the grand scheme of things isn't really that much). I'd throw a million to each his parents and my parents. Half a million to my brother and his brother.

After, I would find the perfect piece of land (around 5 acres). If it had a house, I'd likely knock it down, because in its place would be my custom built dream home. It would not be an extravagant house. A simple floorplan single story house. It would have a master suite with 1 huge and 1 large walk in closets (one for each of us, obviously mine would be the huge one for my clothing and footwear addiction, I'm a girl, what can I say?). There would be a fully stocked organized craft room as well as a entirely Mac computer office room. The living room would be large, as there would be a huge picture window overlooking a flower garden and birdfeeder. The cats would have a memory foam pad to chill on. Catification would take place throughout the entire house, done subtly so it doesn't stand out; there would be holes in the wall for the cat to pass through on the overhead catwalk. My guinea pig would have a 3 x 7 C&C cage and some friends to play with. My hubby would be able to design his dream kitchen and fill it with what he needs.

The house would function entirely off the grid. It would have solar power and geothermal heating/cooling. It would feed back into the electrical supply. Obviously we would have to be connected to cable and internet.

Attached to this perfect house would be a very large garage, complete with 2 lifts and plenty of storage space. It would have to be huge because I would be adding a Fiat 500 Abarth, a Dozer Yellow Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Rubicon, and a Graphite Gray VW Golf TDi (that would be traded for a Graphite Gray VW Bug TDi if they ever release one) to my Fiat 500 and Geo Metro Convertible. I would get a new Vespa 150 and buy the hubby his Triumph Bonneville. A Can Am Spyder would join the stable as well. The hubby would also be able to pick out whatever he wants for cars.

I would donate $5 million to charity. I would donate $1 million each to build the Cocheco Valley Humane Society and the Concord SPCA their new facilities. $1 million to the NH SPCA in Stratham, and $2 million to Live and Let Live Farm in Chichester.

The money that is left over would go into a high interest savings account, and we would live off the interest. I definately wouldn't be spending it all. I don't want to have to work. I want to want to work.

A girl can dream anyways.....

Thanksgiving

Having a very hard time finding reasons to be thankful this year. I am not sure why. I have every girl's ideal husband, one wonderful kitty, another shitty kitty who is the sweetest cat you could ask for and can't stay mad at, no matter how much poop she tracks, the sweetest guinea pig ever, and some really nice toys (Vespa, Fiat, and Geo, Apple iStuff).

But right now, I seem to be dwelling on the negative. Most people say, well you have your health, a job, a roof over your head, and food for your belly. Yes, I am still able to walk and breathe (mostly), but I am not "healthy". I have some fairly serious mental illness. I am so far beyond exhausted every day. I know, I know, you are all thinking quit yer bitchin' and do something about it! Well, that whole laziness and mental health and name change are kinda making it a lot harder than it should be.

Speaking of the name change, if you didn't know, I got married at the end of October. I guess it's pretty sad that I have yet to do a blog entry about it. After all it is supposed to be such a happy day. It all went smooth. We had a very nice honeymoon at the Mountain View Grand. I'll use the excuse of I was waiting for the professional photos from Samantha Ruth Photography (which btw, came out beautifully), but that's just an excuse. The name change has been a major issue for me. I know I should change my last name to his, however I just don't like it. I have tried for the insurance and the bank, but I am just not happy with it. It is definitely a source of friction. I guess it's just the growing pains of becoming an adult. As everyone says, I  need to grow up and deal with it. :/ I just don;t cope well with major changes.

I have a job. And a decent paying one at that. But I never feel appreciated there, I will be losing all the shifts I like at the end of the year, and the new schedule is not looking promising for replacement of those said shifts. I have to learn a route I don't care for to be able to get something for hours. I don't get the ADA shifts I used to to boost the paycheck. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't get so sleepy early in the morning and have to avoid shifts that start before 6am due to the sheer fear of having an accident.

I do have to admit I have a very nice roof over my head. I am thankful for that. I also have plenty of food. Ok, so that is half of the typical thankful items. I do love my vehicles, but those are just inanimate objects.

I am thankful for the troops who keep our country safe.

A busy couple months....

I was on a bus to NYC last weekend. Spending the night in NJ. Unfortunately, it was just too damn hot to go back to the city, so we stayed at the hotel and went to the large Walmart down the street, just to see what was different. I have been in a lot of Walmarts in NH....almost all of them in fact. Don't ask, it just happens, not planned. I was shocked at my experience in the NJ one. First of it was packed. Ugh, crowds are annoying, or at least that is what I was expecting. My experience was quite the opposite. People were actually nice and polite. They weren't pushy and rude like they are in NH. That was a major curveball. Despite the store being packed, it was actually one of the most pleasant Walmart shopping experiences I have encountered.

This weekend was my first ever yard sale. I had never been to one, or been a seller at one. But my fiancé and I wanted to get more room in our apartment. I was sick of all my clutter (which was generally well hidden, but still there). He had some things he wanted to get rid of. When the local Facebook Online Yard Sale Group decided to do a group sale, we jumped on the opportunity. And i am glad we did! We made nearly $200 selling "junk". Whatever didn't sell, went into the donate pile. I jokingly referred to the large pile that lived in the living room for a week as "the Hoard". As you may or may not know, I am a Hoarders: Buried Alive, and Hoarding TV show addict. Those shows make me want to purge everything that we do not use. I have to admit, I seem to finally have my spending addiction under control. I no longer want to buy things that will take up room. :-) Finally, a step in the right direction for my debt control.

Next weekend, we will be in North Carolina visiting his family. Hopefully the weather will be decent. We want to get out to Raleigh and go to our favorite restaurant (Tir Na Nog). Because I am awesome, I was able to get us a $25 certificate for $2. Restaurant.com did an awesome Black Friday sale where you could purchase a $25 credit for $2. So I picked one up. There are a bunch of restaurants that participate. Even on a daily basis, $25 certificates are $10 or less. Check it out, after you finish reading my blog, of course.

Keith Urban is coming to Meadowbrook in September and we have tickets, the first weekend I think....

In October, we are getting married (unless we decide to push it up and forego the ceremony all together and just do the paperwork). Our honeymoon is booked at the Mountain View Grand. Ideally we would have been going to The Hideout, a dude ranch in Wyoming, but that was not financially feasible this year. So we will stay local this year, and save up for next year!

As excited as I am for all this traveling and adventure, I can't help but be worried about my Kalikat. She has FIP (feline infectious peritonitis) and is on medication daily to help sorta maintain her. The disease makes her have a lot of diarrhea. She's 14 and underweight due to her condition. I worry about the stress and her weakened immune system. Luckily I am boarding her at her veterinarian, so if anything does happen, she will be treated promptly; and she does handle change better than Hobo.

Hopefully there will be plenty of time for rest and recharging. I have been exhausted.

The Wild West

My current Netflix addiction is Heartland . A great TV show about a teenage horse whisperer who lost her mom and is living with her sister and grandfather. It takes place and this gorgeous farm in a state or province like Montana.

My neighbor goes to Montana every year, and would always show me her pictures from her trips. It looks like heaven. Wide open spaces exploring on horseback. Absolutely gorgeous views of the mountains. Perfection.

I would love to go and spend the entire day on horseback. Leave out the camping part...I am a little too attached to indoor plumbing...a nice lodge with a jacuzzi in the room and good homestyle food is a much better idea.

I think it would be fun to do some cattle herding as well, moving large quantities of cows across the countryside. And one of these days, I will ride a mechanical bull...